Ultra Smash Bros. Melee Featuring Ridley and King K. Rool
Ultra Smash Bros. Melee Featuring Ridley and King K. Rool will surely be the greatest and most perfect video game of all time. It is Masahiro Sakurai's moral obligation to make it, and has been since the original Melee. Anything other than that shows that Sakurai is a biased xenophobic troll who hates his fans and worships Kirby, Kid Icarus and Fire Emblem above all else. If he refuses to make the game and instead gives us Super Smash Bros. 5 With 10 Extra Anime Swordsmen And Random Third-Parties And Tripping, it's up Nintendo to fire him and have Retro Studios (our lord and savior) helm the game. Why It'll Be Perfect *The competitive community will finally be able to wavedash and L-cancel in glorious but nostalgic HD! It'll be a sign that Sakurai cares about us after all! *Our saviors Ridley and King K. Rool will finally be playable! No more pesky bias towards Niche Series! The game will truly be a balanced celebration of Nintendo's history! But they won't be viable in high-level play because Melee wasn't too kind to heavyweights in general and people will still play Fox instead. Still, it'll be fantastic to see their faces on the character select screen! *Smash will finally belong to us again! It'll prevent all the scrubs, little kids, scrubs, femoids, cucks, scrubs, trannies, SJWs, furries, scrubs, Tumblrinas, Redditors, yaoi fans, cosplayers, scrubs, normies, scrubs, and white male cisgender Smash fans who I disagree with from invading our glorious Smash fanbase since it won't have the generic anime swordsmen and simple gameplay that they love, other than Marth and Roy who were cool to begin with. And Link isn't an anime swordsman because I grew up with him and anything I grew up with has to be American because anything that isn't America. And don't forget that Sakurai is a blatant xenophobe and I'm not. If you aren't unhappy with SSB4 and don't wish that Sakurai gave us USBMFRAKKR instead, then you're a mindless sheep who takes whatever crap is spoon-fed to you by xenophobic, soulless Japanese marketers. Known Roster This is the only Smash roster we'll ever need. If you say otherwise, you're a Sakurai apologist. *Dr. Mario *Mario *Luigi *Peach *Bowser *Yoshi *Donkey Kong *Diddy Kong (because we can't afford to lose a Donkey Kong rep) *King K. Rool *Dixie Kong (because why not) *Cranky Kong (see above) *Funky Kong (might as well add more DK if we can add last-minute clones) *Link *Zelda/Sheik * (who has absolutely no moves copied from Captain Falcon, not even his ledge/floor attacks, and uses swords and magic for every attack) *Young Link *Samus *Ridley *Kirby *Fox *Falco (but with no differences from Fox) *Wolf (more Star Fox is always nice, just make him more of a Fox clone, make sure he's top tier and give him "Mishon compree!" as his only quote so that he fits in better) *Pikachu *Jigglypuff *Pichu *Mewtwo *Captain Falcon *Ness *Ice Climbers *Marth *Roy *Ike (because he is the greatest and coolest character from the only good Fire Emblem games and deserves to be retroactively added to Melee) **this but unironically *Mr. Game and Watch *Isaac Trivia *Some users on the board seemed to be legitimately offended by this page. And no, not the many groups that are allegedly being left out of this "game"'s demographic - the very same Smash elitist demographic that this page is making fun of. *''Super Smash Bros. Ultimate'' is more or less a fusion of USBMFRAKKR with SSB4 and offends absolutely nobody except Waluigi fans. Category:Westaboos Category:Gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8 Category:Articles with really long names Category:Games Category:Smash Bros Category:FanFiction Category:Ridley